Feel Happy Today

Here’s what I did and continue to do when I’m feeling a little blah.

1. Write in your journal or piece of paper: “What would make me happy today?” Then, jot down what comes to mind.

Allow your intuition to guide you to create a list.

Here is a real-life example of my very first “What would make me happy today?” list in the order I wrote it down:

• A walk
• A clean kitchen
• A clear hallway (at the time I was moving out of our basement to make it a rental so the main hallway in our living space was full of stuff that hadn’t been reorganized yet and it was starting to feel cluttered. All I did was move it to another location behind a door so it was out of sight)
• A clean bathroom
• Finish The Martian (The Matt Damon movie. I was watching it the day before and had about 20 minutes left)
• Basement done!
  • Wash walls
  • Paint (I only ended up having the time and energy to paint half of the room, but felt great about the progress)
• Starbucks drink
• Learning time (I really enjoy learning)
• Yoga
• Sunshine
• Good food
• Healthy dinner
• Meditation

I started my list with the things I knew would make me happy from experience. Like going for a walk is always really calming and relaxing for me. I’m always much happier in a clean home. I wanted to do a few things that give me pleasure like getting my favourite drink from Starbucks and taking time to learn something new. As well as things I know work in general, like healthy foods, exercise, meditation, and sunshine. Plus I wanted to feel accomplished towards a big goal of mine, which was to finish renovating my basement.

2. Only include what you’re responsible for

Keep your list to items that you are solely responsible for. Like, maybe you’d feel a sense of happiness if your friend sent you a text message, or your partner would stop complaining about their job, or you won the lottery. But only you are responsible for your happiness each and every day.

You’ll want to include the things you have full control over so you can feel that happiness regardless of what anyone else is doing, or not doing.

If someone is doing (or not doing) something that is bothering you or you’re feeling a sense of lack in your life in a certain area, see point #4 about getting to the root of what you really want and turn it into something that you can take action on.

3. Keep it to the things you can accomplish today

Try to only jot down as many things as can fit in your schedule. The idea is to get them all done, so you get the double whammy combo of doing things that make you happy and having a sense of accomplishment from checking everything off your list.

If you have many responsibilities already planned for the better half of your day, like work or other commitments, you might only write a few things on your list where they fit into your schedule. Such as:

• “Pick up my favourite coffee on the way to work”
• “Go for a walk at lunch”
• “Watch one episode of [insert current TV show] after dinner”

If you’re extra dreading a task you’ve got coming up for the day, think of ways you can add a happy spin to it. For example, when I have a long day at work ahead of me with lots of tasks I don’t really feel like doing, I might order a pizza for lunch and wear my coziest sweatpants as a little gift to myself. Or if I’m doing something like painting a room or cleaning out the garage, I might download a new audiobook or listen to a podcast. Or if I’ve got an event to attend that I’m a little hesitant about, I give myself permission to leave anytime I want which takes the pressure off and makes it a happier endeavour.

4. Substitute what you’re really longing for

Sometimes when asked what would make us happy, we might sarcastically reply with some grand list of impractical things that aren’t going to happen today. Especially if we’ve been in a rut for a while or life’s been kicking our butt lately. Things like:

• “A million dollars!”
• ”A beach vacation!”
• ”My boss to disappear!”

Not writing those things doesn’t mean they aren’t going to happen someday. But we want to keep the list to things that you can get done today. Because we want to elevate your mood right now in this moment. Not in some future that you’ll need to work towards.

So if you’re really longing for some grand thing to happen in your life, try to get to the heart of what that thing gives you and substitute it.

Ask “What does [thing] really get me?” Or “What does [thing] mean to me if I had it today?”

For example, “a million dollars” might mean security, debt reduction, and cash to buy something new. But go a little deeper on each thing that comes up. With “security” I might ask myself “Is there anything I’m lacking today that’s making me insecure?” The answer to that is typically “No”. I usually have everything I need to get by for that day. And all we’re dealing with is today. When I think of “cash to buy something new”, I quickly realize I’m probably chasing a dopamine high from the thrill of purchasing something and having a shiny new possession. In that case, I’d think of other things that will give me a dopamine hit (like exercising or laughter or hugging my kids) and ways I can appreciate my current possessions. Like maybe I can clean a piece of jewelry so it’s sparkling and feels new again. Or I can wear a scarf from the closet I haven’t touched in ages. Or maybe I’ll gaze at a piece of art that already hangs on my wall and look for three things I’ve never noticed about it before to feel a sense of wonder.

The point is, anything you want to write on your list has a feeling at the core of it. And there are a multitude of ways to get to any feeling you want to have. So any of the things you think of that aren’t possible for today, you can find an alternative route for today that gets you to the core of what you believe that thing will give you.

5. List the do’s, not the don’t’s

Keep your list to the positive actionable things, not the things you want to avoid.

For example, if it’s a goal of yours to eat healthy and you’d feel happier if you felt some accomplishment towards that goal today, don’t write something like “Don’t zone out and binge an entire bag of chips while watching TV tonight!!!”. Do write something like “Make a batch of kale chips for TV watching tonight” or “Be mindful when while I’m eating and remember to eat slowly.”

It’s hard to avoid something. But it’s easy to do something. Like if we’re telling ourselves “Don’t think of a red car, don’t think of a red car!” What do you think of?

6. The essentials are really effective

You might have noticed my initial list included some essential elements that are research-backed ways to make any human being feel better. Things like going for a walk, getting sunshine, and eating healthy food. Don’t forget to include those basic elements on your list, especially if you’ve been feeling down lately and not taking care of your wellbeing. Sometimes uplifting our mood can be as simple as having veggies for lunch instead of a highly-processed bag of chips. Or drinking water instead of chugging pop all day. Or having a 10 minute dance party in your bedroom. You are a biological being, and your body has simple ways to make it feel good. For too many of us, our lifestyle has become sitting inside for too long, eating too many processed foods, and chronically disconnecting from each other and ourselves.

7. Get‘er done!

Now you have your list – go for it! Get them done one by one as they fit into your day. You don’t have to do them in the order you wrote them in. I like to draw a little box beside each one so I can X out my box. But maybe you like to draw a line through each one or put a little sticker beside them. However you like to mark them off is good for you. I usually return to my list throughout the day to check things off as I go and to see what else I can get done.

Closing thoughts

Sometimes we don’t notice the things that are working to make us happy throughout the day. Maybe we’re stuck in thinking about our problems. Part of writing the list – even when it’s full of mundane simple things – allows us to connect throughout the day with realizing “oh, I am happy. This is good. life is good.” Because it’s the small moments each day that make life.